Week 8, Thursday night
Nine years into the siege of Troy, Agamemnon took the captive Briseis from Achilles, and the best fighter the Greeks had walked into his tent, picked up a lyre and stayed there while Hector burned the ships. Carlos benched Jordan Love. Love put up 28.52 on Carlos's bench while Carlos started Tetairoa McMillan for 11.8, like a king who keeps his hero in the tent and sends a spear carrier out to die in his place. Agamemnon at least got a woman out of his blunder, and Carlos got 3 points under projection with nobody to blame but the man in the mirror. Pathetic.
Banked
Tucker Kraft put up 20.3 for Brandon, the man who named his team after him, and for one night the team name stopped reading like a cry for help. Chuba Hubbard, an 11.04 pick, put up 24.9 for Peter and covered for Jalen Coker's 9.6, which is the most anyone has done for Peter without being paid. Matthew Golden put up 20.9 for Anish, who deserves none of it, because Darren Waller, the same man who gave Anish a zero in week 6, sat on his bench for 2.6 like a souvenir from a bad date.
The commissioner leads with 53.86, and none of it is his doing. Josh Jacobs put up 23.2 and Christian Watson put up 17.3 to drag Ethan past Bryce Young, whom Ethan personally started at quarterback for 13.36. The man who left 60.1 on his bench last week has now outsourced his entire lineup to Green Bay. Freeloader.
Devante got Tommy Tremble's 3.4 on the bench and nothing else, which is a fair summary of Devante. Trevor Etienne, Navid's 33.09 pick, posted 0.1 on the bench, the exact amount of thought Navid put into drafting him. Alex, Matthew and Carlos each benched a 0 (Jayden Reed, Jonathon Brooks, Xavier Legette), and Carlos is the genius who benched Jordan Love's 28.52 right next to his. Matthew spent 13.02 on Brooks for this. MATTHEW HAS NOT SCORED A POINT AND IS ALREADY LOSING.